Have you received communication either through your personal email, or social connections where a good meaning individual takes the honest to goodness time to introduce themselves?  I have and appreciate the effort it takes for a person to reach out and say hello.  It’s an action I genuinely admire – up to a certain point, that is.  When the introduction swiftly shifts into a monologue I sense the impending doom that I’m about to get bombarded from an “Enough About You…Let’s Get Back to Me” personality type.

Whether or not you’re meeting in person or online first impressions matter.  More importantly showing we care and are interested in the other person matters more than sharing information about ourselves!  Especially if we, as the receiver, never asked for this information!  Can you believe it?!  People are self centric!  (drink more coffee if this is news to you).

Focus on building rapport through dialogue.  When in doubt keep in mind the simple meaning of dialogue versus monologue.  Dialogue = A conversation between two or more persons.  Monologue = a prolonged talk or discourse by a single speaker, especially one dominating or monopolizing a conversation.

With the ability to connect to hundreds if not thousands daily,  virtual connections come at us faster than we can shake hands at a crowded networking party.  If we make the effort to reach out online and network isn’t it a good idea to take the time and construct a game plan?  If you don’t have to fly by the seat of your pants why would you?  I know, I know, spontaneity is fun – trust me I like fun – but barring the anecdotes to personalize an email or quick note it’s a good idea to have a plan of action in your communication.

Deconstructing Your Plan of Action in Communicating so you’re NOT an “Enough About You…Let’s Get Back to Me” personality type:

Part 1. Introduction.

“Hi (name of person spelled CORRECTLY)” <= seriously.  By misspelling a person’s name we show we have ZERO attention to the #1 word associated with that person’s identity.  There is research out there regarding the importance of a person’s name so for goodness sakes please spell it right.  It’s as simple as looking at the name and copying it without getting busted for copying.  (you’re allowed to cheat on this test)

Part 2. Tell them why in the world you’re reaching out to them.

They have busy lives just like you, they are bombarded with sales pitches just like you, they care about their lives more than yours JUST LIKE YOU.  So why in the world should they care about what you have to say?  I’ll tell you why…because you took one minute of your time to look at their profile, to learn a bit about them and you’re making your introduction RELEVANT to them.

We all know what the intro is really for: it’s for making the connection to establish a relationship and eventually, hopefully create some sort of mutual business interaction whereby we each benefit.  It’s awesome – let’s all make more money helping each other out but wait… I’m getting ahead of myself.  I don’t want to help someone who doesn’t even care enough show relevance.  “Hi Roxana, (one “n” in first name) I’m just reaching out because we’re in the same (blank) and I noticed you liked (blank) or I noticed you were into (blank book or group or whatever!) and just thought hey, since we’re both here might as well say hi and make a real connection.”

Part 3. Speaking of Relevance…Ask a Question.

If you can’t see much more than some surface information about the person’s interests or likes or what have you then ask a question.  “What brought you into this group?”  “Have you been here long?”  “Do you know about this or that?”  People (most) love to help and people usually enjoy talking about themselves.  Asking them a simple (keyword simple) question about something relevant to why your association connects you both isn’t too intrusive that you’ll push the person away.  Men: women can be more protective so don’t go prying about personal information.  (On facebook at first introduction of self and if you’re a man and ask me if I’m single you’re asking for an immediate block.)  If I don’t have my relationship status listed…that means it’s none of your business.  I repeat: take the time to learn a bit about the person you’re reaching out to!

Part 4.  Assumptions.

Remember the first time you heard what it means to assume?  (something about making a “donkey” out of u and me?)  Do not send an email co-miserating.  “Hi,  I know you’re broke and looking for leads.”  No I’m not, I’ve been an exec at MLSP since it’s start – I know how to get leads when I need them.  “Hi, it’s the holidays and you’re stressed out” Um, no, it’s festive and jolly, haven’t you seen all the positive stuff I post about?  “Hi, I noticed you posted something about needing help with your blog – have you heard of Empower Network?  Here’s my link.” LOL, uh yah, I’ve heard and no thank you – my profile is full of info on my OWN business already…and who are you anyway??? Why would I join you? AND my post was about needing a blog designer to fix one small issue!

Please pay attention to details and don’t assume anything unless the person you’re interacting with directly tells you about a problem.  Then and only then should you offer a solution.

Part 5.  Have fun and let your awesome personality shine through.

Humor.  Use it in a personalized fashion to break the ice.  “Hi Roxana Hannah – I have to ask: what’s it like to have two first names or better yet a rhyming name?”  “Hi Roxana Hannah – I know this is dumb but has anyone ever called you Hannah Montana?”  <= ok that one is awful but you get my point.  Take a look at this person’s profile picture – can you extract any info about them to make a nice comment or a funny remark?  Don’t be door knob, have some fun.

Part 6. Don’t eat your meal in one bite.

The dialogue is a ping pong game.  You go, I go, you go, I go.  Ping Pong dialogue is a communication method of finding out what each is looking for.  We’re all looking for something on some level. But to intro yourself, intro your opportunity, offer advice, offer help, share all your profile links, recite your bio to someone who didn’t ask for anything is like eating your entire meal in one bite.  It’s just too much.

Slow down and get to know the person you’re building a relationship with.  You might be surprised at how much you have in common.